Indigo Girls Suck

I used to love these ladies. Their endless and easy harmony. Their powerful and passionate delivery. I've even seen them in concert. And I went with three other guys: Rich "Miss'n" Sisson, Joey "The nose" Librera and Jeff "This Guy" Guimond. Real names not altered to not protect identity. I only really liked one of those guys. But I really loved the band.

Their self-titled album was brilliant front-to-back. My buddy and I in college used to sing "Kid Fears" at the top of our lungs, futile as it obviously was to match their voices. That's why we always maxed out the volume -- it's always much more satisfying to sing when you can't hear yourself sing.

I even got into an online back-and-forth about the brilliant rendition of "Romeo and Juliet". This Dire Straits tune, covered by Indigo Girls on "Rites of Passage", inspired my friend Dan to write that he thought the Dire Straits version was better. I wrote back and pimped the Indigo Girls version. Yes, the Indigo Girls were unapologetically one of my all-time favorites.

"Were". Past tense. No more "are", other then they "are" bad. And it's all because they are lesbians.

Just kidding. I am definitely pro choice repurposed for sexual preference not for abortion, or PCRFSPNFA. And because I am a card-carrying member of PCRFSPNFA, the fact that I think the Indigo Girls suck has nothing to do with their sexual preference. It's because I have a penchant for spouting an idea right before a famous person says it.

Let me explain: I wrote this article about the state of the casual American in the midst of severe global happenings. A few days later, Michael Stipe went onto Bill Maher's show on HBO and said that young people do not get involved because of cable television and the distractions available, exactly what I had written about just days earlier!

Immediately the light bulb went off and I googled Michael Stipe to find his contact information so that I could excitedly let him know I was young and shared the same opinions. rem.com, rem.org, rem.edu, rem.xxx, whatever. Couldn't find it. Then I became desperate and remembered that he sang wonderfully with the girls on "Kid Fears". In my mind, I thought the Indigo Girls could get me in touch with Michael Stipe to share my smart political thoughts with him.

Here's the email I sent the Indigo Girls:

"I'm a huge fan. I love the self-titled and Rites of
passage from my high school days. Kid Fears is one of
my favorite songs of all time. My buddy and I in
college used to harmonize. I would play Amy's part,
Chris would play Emily's.

Michael Stipe was on Bill Maher tonight. He made very
similar comments that I wrote on my website a few
weeks ago.

I know this is cheesy, totally hopeless attempt, but
can you send this article to Michael Stipe? I want him
to know where younger people stand on these issues,
through my satire. As I struggle with recognition and
appreciate emotion through words (whether music or on
the page, or both), I am trying to find Michael and
his passion through MY words...

Thanks, here's the article:

http://strongbrain.org/sb/article.jsp?aid=2&article=58

Thanks ladies. You are on my ipod and I just listed to
"Airplane" off Rites of passage...

Thanks for your voices, your harmony, but most of all
your passion,

me"

Anyway, neither the Indigo Girls, nor Michael Stipe, have ever emailed me a response. And that is why I think they suck.